Shame

Yes, I am writing this post purely out of shame. The kind of shame that comes with not writing anything in three months.

It's that time of year, though, and the excuses are the same as last year: It's too cold to do anything with the car, I've been working on the catalog, and I'm in hibernation. There is a new excuse on this year's list: We're still dealing with the basement rebuild. This week was the first time in 6 months that actually mopping the (new) basement floor looked like it wouldn't be a total waste of time. And even that took three hours and almost an entire box of Swiffer pads. The construction dust was so thick that it would completely clog a pad after about 5 square feet. The sponge mop only rearranged the dust into fascinating new patterns.

The catalog just arrived today (it will be in the mail to you shortly, don't panic), and once again it looks like the best we've ever done. I can't take as much credit this year though. The choice of paper and ink and printer and presses combined to make the photos and really pop. The blacks are actually black this year, not just dark grey. The type looks sharper as well. And then there's all that wonderful text and layout work. I'll autograph your copy if you bring me a Sharpie. (No, not a Shar Pei. It's hard to write with a dog.)

If I may be permitted to whine a bit about the weather: BRRR!! I heard last night that we had 24 consecutive days this month with a high temperature below freezing. Three days in a row we had a high in the single digits, and for three nights the lows were in the teens below zero. That's Fahrenheit, folks. Not Celsius.

I have been told to be thankful for cold winters, because that helps to control the bug population. On the other hand, the mountains of snow on the ground have probably insulated the little critters pretty well. I'll bet they're loving life right now. Jerks. I should probably mention here that I was stung by a bee at the last race. Stupid little thing flew right into me, landed on my neck under the collar of my driver's suit, and then the little turkey had the nerve (and the stinger) to blame me for it. Moron.

The trailer is currently buried behind the garage, and the car is buried inside the garage. I expect that's how things will stay for at least a few more weeks. I had planned all kinds of projects for the car to get it ready for the Formula Ford 40th Birthday Party race at Road America in July, but of course I haven't started any of them. The good news is that only two of them are really important: Checking the engine bearings and revising the shoulder harness mounting points.

What's wrong with the current shoulder belt mounts? The Tiga was designed before anyone ever thought about head and neck restraint devices, so the mounts are about 10 inches apart. Unfortunately, the HANS Device (virtually the standard head and neck restraint these days) requires the shoulder belt mount spacing to be no more than 6 inches center-to-center. Bruce Lindstrand had modified the mounts on the LMI Tiga, and I was hoping to copy his design. It is a very clever design: It brings the belts closer together, it's a stronger mount (the belts are anchored to two square tubes instead of just one), and it allows for vertical adjustment to accomodate taller and shorter drivers. He also eliminated a somewhat questionable piece of anchoring hardware, which can't be a bad thing.

Changing the mounts will require stripping the car to the bare frame. Stripping the car will require room in the garage. Room in the garage will require moving about two tons of assorted things that don't really have a permanent home. Finding them a home will require clearing household items out of the storage garage that we rented while the basement was being redone. Moving those items will require a clean basement floor. Oh, wait...

Hibernation

Have I mentioned that I am not a fan of winter? I'm not. Especially winters where the snowfall total is more than I am tall, the windchills are below zero for days at a time, and even the plow trucks get stuck. Winter Wonderland? Sure, if by "wonder" you mean “I wonder if I’ll make it to work today… I wonder when I’ll feel my toes again… I wonder if I should buy a few more sets of long underwear... I wonder if I still have ears...”

Our one-year-old snowblower is going to need a major overhaul if summer ever comes, because it has seen some very hard use this winter. I think the racecar has seen less abuse in 30 years than the snowblower has seen in 3 months. I should be thankful that snowblowers don’t have logbooks. That would be an embarrassing read: “Crashed into ice-packed snowbank; repair auger hood damage before next snowfall… Stalled by choking on heavy snow; check engine case for cracks before next storm… Rolled, total damage to everything, tech sticker pulled…”

Last Sunday was a refreshing change. Instead of shoveling ice and snow, I spent the day shoveling ice and water. The mercury finally poked its head up over the 30 degree mark as a warm (storm) front came through town. For the first time in months, we got rain instead of snow. It was a terrific opportunity to get the two-inch layer of ice off the driveway, but underneath the ice was a lot of water. The rain and melting snow combined to make some epic puddles (which couldn’t get past the snowbanks on either side of the driveway into the soil which was frozen anyway), so I basically worked on corralling the water from the garage to the street, which was also flooded and iced over. I was thrilled with the rain, but I also wasn’t sad when it finally changed to snow in the afternoon.

Fortunately, the warm weather (well, relatively warm) gave me an opportunity to finally get the car up on stands, and just in time too. All that water in the garage has now frozen into a fascinating display of freeze expansion. Depending on your point of view, the garage floor looks either like a 3-D map of the glaciers during the ice age, or like a snapshot of the tide coming in. The ice actually sits up so high that it just touches one of the rear wheels, which is hanging 2 inches off the floor.

That’s enough talk about winter. I’m getting cold.

I mentioned before that this is the first time that I’ve had a running car in my garage during the off-season. I’m used to panicking with a three-page to-do list a couple of weeks before the first event, so this is an unusual situation for me to say the least. I do have a brief list of projects to keep me busy, like fixing some stripped threads on the gearbox and re-doing a hasty exhaust repair, but the car is essentially ready to run. So what do I do now?

My other big area of indecision is in planning the 2008 season. I have a list of events I really want to run, but they don’t really add up to a season. I’m looking at an SCCA Regional here and a Midwestern Council race there, but I’m not leaning towards a commitment to any one series right now. Each group has at least one event that I'm willing to miss the other group's race for, so I won't be running a full season with either group.

Another question mark on the horizon is my license renewal. Because of my abbreviated 2007 season, I ran enough races to renew an SCCA Regional license, but not enough to automatically renew my National license*. For an extra fee I can apply for a waiver to renew my National license, and for another extra fee I can also apply for a waiver to renew my Midwestern Council license. MC will let me run on an SCCA license, but I won’t be awarded any points (which won’t be a big deal if I’m not running the full MC schedule anyway, since I won’t be in the running for a championship).

Here are the not-quite-set-in-concrete, definite maybe events that I’m considering, possibly:

April 19-20 Driver’s School & Race, MC, Blackhawk Farms
April 27 SCCA Regional Race, Blackhawk Farms
May 24-25 SCCA Double Regional, Grattan (MI)
May 31-June 1 SCCA Double Regional, Road America
June 29 MC Race, Blackhawk Farms
July 12-13 SCCA Double Regional, Blackhawk Farms
July 19-20 Driver’s School & Race, MC, Blackhawk Farms
August 9-10 (a busy weekend) MC Race, Blackhawk
(or) SCCA National, Grattan
(or) SCCA Double Regional, Mid-Ohio
August 30-31 SCCA Double Regional, State Fair Park
Sept 13-14 SCCA Double Regional, Road America
Sept 21 MC Race, Blackhawk Farms
Oct 18-19 SCCA Regional, Blackhawk Farms
Oct 25-26 MC Race, Blackhawk Farms

Whoops, that’s 13. Not that I’m superstitious, but let’s put the June 8 MC Race at Autobahn Country Club on the list too.

My only complaint about that calendar is the same as in many other years: The events are clustered, with back-to-back events separated by long gaps. The back-to-back events at Blackhawk are not too tough because the setup doesn’t need to be changed, but going from Grattan to Road America to Autobahn can be tough. In addition to the major wallet strain, you have to schedule a gear change during the week. That isn’t a big deal for some people named Nicole Temple who can change gears in 15 minutes, but when it takes you an entire evening (hi, that’s me), the week gets pretty hectic. Unload the car Sunday night (if it’s not too late), clean the car and get the tools back together Monday night, nut & bolt Tuesday, change gears Wednesday, load the truck Thursday so you can take the car along Friday morning so you can leave from work Friday afternoon. That doesn’t leave much room for actually fixing problems.

But thinking about it again, the first back-to-back like that is the Memorial Day weekend at Grattan followed by a Road America event. RA is so close to home that I wouldn’t have to load the car until Friday night after work, or even Saturday morning (plus we have a holiday on Monday which will help). The trip back home from RA Sunday night will get us home early enough to get everything unloaded and cleaned up so we can start working on the car on Monday. And the next event (MC at Autobahn) is Sunday only, so I could drive down Saturday night or (ungodly early) Sunday morning, so that’s another half-day on my side at least. The other nasty back-to-back is the September Road America event followed by an MC Race at Blackhawk. The MC race is also a one-day (Sunday) event, which gives me Saturday to finish the car, after an early evening the Sunday before. So what am I worried about?

*To renew an SCCA Regional license, SCCA requires completing 2 Regional races. To renew an SCCA National license, SCCA requires 4 Regionals, or 2 Nationals and 1 Regional, or 3 Nationals. I ran 2 Regionals plus 2 MC events which are not officially recognized by SCCA for licensing purposes.

Again, With the "Nothing to Report!"

December 1? Has it really been that long since the last update? Profuse apologies for keeping you waiting so long.

We've been working on our 2007 catalog, trying to cram in more new products and more information without adding too many more pages. I enjoy working on the catalog, and I get a lot of satisfaction out of seeing the finished product. I like being part of the production team, and I do feel like my contributions are improving the catalog. But there are some drawbacks.

Maybe it's because I enjoy the work so much, but for at least one solid week this month I kept working on it every night in my dreams. This week my nightmares have been all about mysteriously shrinking pages and words that keep multiplying and moving around, refusing to fit in neatly laid out text boxes.

And then there are the cool new products. We carry so much cool stuff! This is what gets me in trouble. When we bring on a new product, I have to get familiar with it, familiar enough that I can write a description that explains exactly what it does, why it does what it does better than anything else, and why you need it. And then I realize: I need it too. It won't fit my car, and I know this because I wrote the description that says very clearly "fits Van Diemen F2000, 1990 and up with 5.5" Tilton twin-disc clutch" and I've had my car apart enough to know that it's not a Van Diemen, not an F2000, older than 1990, and doesn't have a 5.5" twin-disc clutch... but it's just such a well-made, good-looking part, and if you have a Van Diemen F2000, 1990 and up, with a 5.5" twin-disc Tilton clutch, and you don't have one of these, boy oh boy are you missing out, and maybe you don't deserve to have one, maybe it should go to a good home, someone who really knows it and appreciates how it can solve so many problems... Good thing I don't work for the Humane Society.

A few of the new products that I have to force myself to leave here when I go home:

Gold heat barrier film. This is the new stuff that F1 teams use inside the engine covers. When you watch a race on TV, and a car pulls into the pits, and the crew pulls the engine cover off to see what's wrong, and all you see is gold -- that's what this is. It blocks the engine heat from overheating the bodywork and cooking off that expensive paint job. And it looks pretty zooty doing it. A few of those cars would probably look better if they put that paint job under the engine cover and covered the bodywork with the gold film instead.

Tripod Joints. This is a type of CV joint that has been used by Van Diemen since 1990. My car doesn't use that style, but they're so light and well-made, they just look fast.

Hydraulic Release Bearings for Van Diemen. A very reliable brand of clutch release bearings modified to replace the troublesome unit in the Van Diemen. My car isn't a Van Diemen, and I have an HRB, but these are just such a great thing that I can't understand why a Van Diemen owner wouldn't want one.

Lady Eagle safetywear. No, I'm not a woman, nor am I built like one. But it's about time that someone made driver's gear designed for women. I want to buy a set for all the lady drivers I know.

KOUL Tools. If you look in the encyclopedia under "better mousetrap" it will have a picture of the KOUL Tools. Installing hose ends onto braided stainless hose means pushing a collar onto the hose by hand -- a process which loosens and frays the wire braid while causing blisters and cuts and puncture wounds. These tools act like a funnel to squeeze the braid into the collar, even if the braid has frayed. I wish I assembled more of these hoses so I would have an excuse to buy these. I may give them as Christmas gifts next year.

E-Track. A moveable anchor system for tying down cargo (like a car in a trailer). Snap-in fittings snap into the track, which has sockets every couple of inches. You're not tied down (har har) to just one anchor point. If you sell the Miata and buy a Corvette, no problem! Just snap the anchors out of the track and snap them back in where you need them. If you need the race trailer for work during the week, no problem! Your friend needs help moving? Oh gosh, I'd like to help you out, but I'm out of town that weekend... My trailer is already tailored just exactly to what my car needs, but E-Track almost makes me wish it wasn't. I'm tempted to install some in the bed of the pickup truck.

AiM dash systems. Talk about a do-it-all digital dash system! These dashes are so flexible and capable of so many functions, it's amazing they don't cost more. I've heard that they will be introducing a formula car steering wheel with everything built in (dash, shift lights, and all switches) this spring. If they can keep the price reasonable -- and based on past history, I'd say that's likely -- these could be very popular. I have all new gauges in my car, and they're period-correct, but this thing is so uber-cool that I'm hoping it will either be dirt cheap or WAY out of my price range.

I'm off to find some oil pressure. I'll send a postcard.

Enough Already

This has nothing to do with racing, but it's been keeping me from sleeping at night.

Ridiculous Phrases That We Don't Ever Need to Hear Again

Seriously, people. Let's learn some new catchphrases and dump these which were worn out before their time.

You know
(Spoken by celebs in interviews) I once saw a snippet of an interview with a pop music star. His answer to a question about his music, in its entirety, was (approximately) "Well, you know, it's, like, you know, uh... you know, yeah." Well, now we know that you don't write your own lyrics. "You know" is code for "I have no idea how to articulate what I'm thinking." Not exactly what you expect from someone who gets paid millions of dollars to express himself.

At the end of the day
This strikes me as a grown-up version of "you know". It's the modern abbreviation of "when all is said and done." It sounded intelligent the first few times I heard it, probably because it seemed to have originated in Britain. Now NFL and NASCAR announcers are saying it. "You know, at the end of the day, you know..." At the end of the day, you go to bed. I guess I should be thankful the Americans didn't get there first with "You know, when the fat lady sings, you know..."

Black Friday
Help me understand the logic here. Black Monday refers to the 1987 stock market drop. Bad thing. Black Tuesday refers to the last day of the big one in 1929. Worse thing. Black Wendesday refers to the day the British Pound lost so much value due to currency speculation that the British government was forced to withdraw it from the European Exchange. Bad thing. Black Thursday started the 1929 market crash (followed by the original Black Monday and Black Tuesday). Big bad thing. So how did "Black" become applied to the (supposedly) biggest retail shopping day of the year? And by the way, it's NOT. It's overhyped nonsense, and now it has a poorly-chosen name. And if you're one of the 5am "doorbuster" crowd, then you need to go home and take a nap. Let's call it "Nap Friday" instead.

Put your "John Henry" by the X...
Has someone asked you to sign a document by asking you to "put your John Henry" on it? I hope you reached for a hammer. Because John Henry had a hammer. He was a steel-drivin' man. John Hancock signed the Declaration of Independence with a famously large signature (the only signature on the document that can be read across the room). On the other hand, if someone does ask you for your John Hancock, feel free to sign the entire sheet like Johnny would have done.

There are plenty of good old cliches to choose from. Who decided that we needed new ones?

No! Time to Lose!

At the risk of losing my own regular readers to more interesting websites, I would like to share some of the websites that have distracted me from working on the car lately.

Make:
This is a blog for the new-ish magazine Make: technology on your time, which is gripping reading for someone who enjoys better or cheaper ways of doing things. Everything from how to mount a flashlight to a bicycle handlebar with less than $1 in parts to how to build your own MP3 player. (The handlebar mount may translate well into "how to mount a small object to chassis tubes in a race car.") One of their mottos is "If you can't open it, you don't own it!"

Cool Tools
Kevin Kelly's "Cool Tools" is a collection of useful, cool, I-want-one tools and books recommended by readers. Less homemade than the things on Make:, these are the things the Makers may find useful, at least as inspiration.

Street Use
Another of Kevin Kelly's sites, "Street Use" is a collection of down-home technology. Can't afford to buy it? Chances are someone in the world has made do with something they had on hand. That's the spirit behind Street Use.

Worth 1000
A picture is worth a thousand words, get it? I still haven't explored every corner of Worth 1000, but their Photoshop contests got me hooked, and their Photoshop tutorials are my excuse to keep coming back. "How to Chrome Plate Your Cherries" -- how could I stay away?

mental_floss
The website for mental_floss magazine. Can someone tell me why I hated history class but I can't get enough trivia? Maybe because my history teachers never had the wicked sense of humor that the mental_floss staff has. I also have several of their brilliantly-written books, though I am still asking for the others (and a subscription to the magazine) for Christmas, hint hint.

Between all that and working on the Haydon Racing Online Store, how's a guy supposed to get any sleep?

Back to Mexico

Just in case anyone needs me during the coming week, I will be in Mexico from Saturday (11/04) through Wednesday (11/08). I'll be "connected" again on Friday (11/10).

I'd promise to bring back some sunshine, but the forecast calls for rain through Thursday.

Not necessarily news

Not much to report today, so instead here's a little racing humor.

YOU MIGHT BE A RACER IF...

Your email address refers to your race car rather than to you.

When someone asks where you went to school, you reply, "Skip Barber".

You always late apex the intersection and try to pass a few cars coming out.

You hate your one-hour commute but love the 600 mile tow to the race track.

You walk “the line” through the grocery store. Bonus points if you oversteer the cart.

“Overcooked it” doesn’t refer to food.

Your garage holds more cars than your house has bedrooms.

You have Lindstrand Motorsports on speed dial.

You save broken car parts as souvenirs.

You have car parts in your cubicle at work.

People know your class, car number, and car color, but not your name or face.

You bought a race car before buying a house.

You bought a trailer before buying furniture for the new house.

You're shopping for a new tow vehicle and still haven't bought furniture!

The garage floor is cleaner then your kitchen floor.

Eight socket wrenches… one spatula.

You have a separate drawer for 'garage clothes'.

Your first date involves her crewing for you.

You plan your wedding around the race schedule.

You're registered for wedding gifts at Pegasus.

Your Christmas list begins with a set of R60s and Forged Pistons.

Your family knows what R60s and Forged Pistons are.

105 degrees and sunny is a perfect day to wear a 3 layer suit and long underwear.

Your bathroom reading material consists of auto parts and racing supply catalogs, several books written by famous drivers, every book Carroll Smith has ever written.... and 400 car magazines, none of which have centerfolds.

A neighbor asks if you have any oil, to which you ask, "Synthetic or dinosaur?" and they reply, "Vegetable or corn."

You refer to the corner at the end of your street as "Turn One."

You've found your lawn mower runs pretty good on AVGas and even better on Sunoco Blue.

You spend more time polishing your A-Arms than you do on your hair.

Your wallet contains pictures of your racecar but no family members.

When someone refers to "The Good Book", you think of How to Build Competitive (Yet Legal) Formula Ford Engines.

Your winter long underwear is made of Nomex or CarbonX.

You tell your wife where you'd like to go on your vacation and she asks: "Why... is there a race there?"

Caribou Coffee

Brace yourself for a post that has nothing to do with racing.

I'm not a big coffee drinker. I don't just mean that I can go a day without drinking ten cups. I can go ten days without one cup. I usually skip it completely during the racing season and indulge in a cup every once in a while during the winter. The thought of spending $5 a cup for coffee always struck me as a bit excessive. That some people drink one (or more) $5 cups of coffee every day just floors me.

A few weeks ago I was out and about with a friend who took me to a coffee shop called Caribou Coffee. Since I don't drink coffee for the flavor, I wanted something that wouldn't taste quite like coffee. The words "Turtle Mocha" stood out on the menu. I am a huge fan of Turtle (not the hard-shelled reptile, but that perfect marriage of chocolate, caramel, and nuts). Turtle is the ultimate flavor, the closest thing to heaven that your tongue will ever know. Yes, I like Turtle.

Yes, I ordered the Turtle Mocha. It was everything I expected. But that coffee shop was really something else. The employees were friendly without going overboard and hardworking without showboating. The entire atmosphere was warm and inviting. I was so impressed that I wished I drank more coffee than I do.

Last weekend, this same friend and I were out and about again, but not in the Caribou Coffee neighborhood. Instead we found ourselves entering the Caribou Competitor. You know the place I mean. There are at least two of them in your hometown. There are two in Kenosha for crying out loud, and there are only 95,000 people there!

We ordered our drinks (no Turtle on the menu, so I tearfully ordered a Caramel Mocha, the closest thing I could find) and I tipped generously, because the server almost made me feel like he was doing me a favor by taking my order. My friend's drink was up right away. I waited patiently. I watched two other patrons order, get their drinks, and leave. Finally I asked if I had missed mine. The server apologized and handed me something that looked like a sundae. A frozen drink? It's 40 degrees outside! Who would get an iced coffee in this weather? I was so disgusted I couldn't even argue. I just took it, walked out, and threw it away.

The next day, I decided that I still wanted the Turtle Mocha that I didn't get the day before, so I headed to Caribou Coffee. The server greeted me warmly and seemed genuinely happy to be helping me. The coffeeist prepared the drink quickly without rushing. I got the drink I ordered and was on my way in about a minute and a half. And that Turtle Mocha was delicious.

Yes, I am thankful that this is the biggest issue I have to write about right now. But I am so impressed by Caribou Coffee that I just have to tell everyone. The difference between them and their competition was staggering. I hope they come to Kenosha someday. If they do, there will eventually be two vacant buildings where certain other coffee shops used to be.

I stopped in at Caribou Coffee again this morning and encountered a different crew. They were just as friendly, but they were also so happy and energetic that I couldn't help but be in a great mood for the rest of the morning. And of course my order was ready in about a minute and a half, it was correct, and it was delicious.

Maybe if I drink more coffee, I'll get used to it again and my eyes will stop vibrating.

Garage Organization

What was it I said yesterday about only accomplishing some tidying up in the garage? Oh yes, here it is:

On the other hand, I may only accomplish "putting parts in boxes and getting
them out of my way."

How about that, I was right!

This is actually frustrating. Racecar parts are not designed to nest together or fit neatly into boxes. Each attempt to put some parts away ends with a huge box containing two bulky parts and a lot of air. Small parts can usually be crammed together into one box, but the resulting 9 x 6 x 12 inch box that weighs about 50 pounds is going a little too far in the other direction.

My buddy Bob Clark was kind enough to lend me an impact socket for the pinion shaft nut, so I may be able to get the gearbox apart next week. This weekend is an engine weekend. If I'm lucky, I can get it ready for the machine shop before next week.

Scrapbook Photos

There is nothing new to report today because I took last night off at the last minute. But here’s a link to some photos to tide you over until something interesting happens.
The good parts are on pages 13 and 16.

It’s a “pdf” file, which means that if you don’t already have Adobe Acrobat Reader, you’ll need to get it. It’s a free program that will give you access to a huge amount of information on the Internet. In fact, I’d be surprised if you don’t already have it. Click the link and see what happens.

I plan to work on the chassis and suspension tonight. The weather is remarkably mild today, so I may be able to work late and get a lot accomplished. On the other hand, I may only accomplish "putting parts in boxes and getting them out of my way." That's still an accomplishment, though.