Enough Already

This has nothing to do with racing, but it's been keeping me from sleeping at night.

Ridiculous Phrases That We Don't Ever Need to Hear Again

Seriously, people. Let's learn some new catchphrases and dump these which were worn out before their time.

You know
(Spoken by celebs in interviews) I once saw a snippet of an interview with a pop music star. His answer to a question about his music, in its entirety, was (approximately) "Well, you know, it's, like, you know, uh... you know, yeah." Well, now we know that you don't write your own lyrics. "You know" is code for "I have no idea how to articulate what I'm thinking." Not exactly what you expect from someone who gets paid millions of dollars to express himself.

At the end of the day
This strikes me as a grown-up version of "you know". It's the modern abbreviation of "when all is said and done." It sounded intelligent the first few times I heard it, probably because it seemed to have originated in Britain. Now NFL and NASCAR announcers are saying it. "You know, at the end of the day, you know..." At the end of the day, you go to bed. I guess I should be thankful the Americans didn't get there first with "You know, when the fat lady sings, you know..."

Black Friday
Help me understand the logic here. Black Monday refers to the 1987 stock market drop. Bad thing. Black Tuesday refers to the last day of the big one in 1929. Worse thing. Black Wendesday refers to the day the British Pound lost so much value due to currency speculation that the British government was forced to withdraw it from the European Exchange. Bad thing. Black Thursday started the 1929 market crash (followed by the original Black Monday and Black Tuesday). Big bad thing. So how did "Black" become applied to the (supposedly) biggest retail shopping day of the year? And by the way, it's NOT. It's overhyped nonsense, and now it has a poorly-chosen name. And if you're one of the 5am "doorbuster" crowd, then you need to go home and take a nap. Let's call it "Nap Friday" instead.

Put your "John Henry" by the X...
Has someone asked you to sign a document by asking you to "put your John Henry" on it? I hope you reached for a hammer. Because John Henry had a hammer. He was a steel-drivin' man. John Hancock signed the Declaration of Independence with a famously large signature (the only signature on the document that can be read across the room). On the other hand, if someone does ask you for your John Hancock, feel free to sign the entire sheet like Johnny would have done.

There are plenty of good old cliches to choose from. Who decided that we needed new ones?

I'm Back

Yes, back from Mexico, a little burned and a little wiser (Cancun is for teenagers looking to get drunk and for tourists looking to watch teenagers getting drunk, not for anyone desiring a quiet, relaxing vacation).

I am excited to announce the opening of the Haydon Racing Online Store! The designs haven't been finalized yet (I will be adding and possibly removing and rearranging), but you will be able to buy such wonderful things as:

• A T-shirt with a picture of the Tiga on the front and "65" on the back
• A T-shirt with "65" in a white circle and "TIGA CFF" and "Haydon Racing" on the front
• A license plate frame declaring "I (heart) Formula Ford / My other car is a TIGA"

I'll gladly add coffee mugs, mouse pads, tote bags, and dog shirts (dog shirts?? dog shirts!) with racing themes if you ask. Just say the word and I'll try, or else I'll come up with some excuse why I can't do it.

Happy shopping!

Caribou Coffee

Brace yourself for a post that has nothing to do with racing.

I'm not a big coffee drinker. I don't just mean that I can go a day without drinking ten cups. I can go ten days without one cup. I usually skip it completely during the racing season and indulge in a cup every once in a while during the winter. The thought of spending $5 a cup for coffee always struck me as a bit excessive. That some people drink one (or more) $5 cups of coffee every day just floors me.

A few weeks ago I was out and about with a friend who took me to a coffee shop called Caribou Coffee. Since I don't drink coffee for the flavor, I wanted something that wouldn't taste quite like coffee. The words "Turtle Mocha" stood out on the menu. I am a huge fan of Turtle (not the hard-shelled reptile, but that perfect marriage of chocolate, caramel, and nuts). Turtle is the ultimate flavor, the closest thing to heaven that your tongue will ever know. Yes, I like Turtle.

Yes, I ordered the Turtle Mocha. It was everything I expected. But that coffee shop was really something else. The employees were friendly without going overboard and hardworking without showboating. The entire atmosphere was warm and inviting. I was so impressed that I wished I drank more coffee than I do.

Last weekend, this same friend and I were out and about again, but not in the Caribou Coffee neighborhood. Instead we found ourselves entering the Caribou Competitor. You know the place I mean. There are at least two of them in your hometown. There are two in Kenosha for crying out loud, and there are only 95,000 people there!

We ordered our drinks (no Turtle on the menu, so I tearfully ordered a Caramel Mocha, the closest thing I could find) and I tipped generously, because the server almost made me feel like he was doing me a favor by taking my order. My friend's drink was up right away. I waited patiently. I watched two other patrons order, get their drinks, and leave. Finally I asked if I had missed mine. The server apologized and handed me something that looked like a sundae. A frozen drink? It's 40 degrees outside! Who would get an iced coffee in this weather? I was so disgusted I couldn't even argue. I just took it, walked out, and threw it away.

The next day, I decided that I still wanted the Turtle Mocha that I didn't get the day before, so I headed to Caribou Coffee. The server greeted me warmly and seemed genuinely happy to be helping me. The coffeeist prepared the drink quickly without rushing. I got the drink I ordered and was on my way in about a minute and a half. And that Turtle Mocha was delicious.

Yes, I am thankful that this is the biggest issue I have to write about right now. But I am so impressed by Caribou Coffee that I just have to tell everyone. The difference between them and their competition was staggering. I hope they come to Kenosha someday. If they do, there will eventually be two vacant buildings where certain other coffee shops used to be.

I stopped in at Caribou Coffee again this morning and encountered a different crew. They were just as friendly, but they were also so happy and energetic that I couldn't help but be in a great mood for the rest of the morning. And of course my order was ready in about a minute and a half, it was correct, and it was delicious.

Maybe if I drink more coffee, I'll get used to it again and my eyes will stop vibrating.